What am I

My love so selfish a bitter struggle. gazing so blindly into your eyes,
to perhaps catch your glance.
scattered tokens, littered gestures I gather to my chest,
a glimmering shimmer, gone. was that joy I saw,
was that mine unto you, was I cherished.

Absent more and more, your strength high and low,
with every wane we watch the pieces fall and pick them up together,
with every elation I am exiled.
My price I pay, swallowed by the ground beneath me,
desired, both happiness and sadness, sharing all. can I be there.

Our time ebbs and unravels it seems, too many words too much love.
my presence so arduous, what use for this, what purpose now.
so new things evolve and simplicity a supreme ruler,
smoldering love weakened as fire dying in the wind, 
my hope dying with it.

enigma, facing me day after day it tortures, taunts,
tearing through sense and mind, leaving moors of madness.
enigma, your heart, my place therein, so hidden so terrifying that unknown
dare I fight more to find it, cast aside now I fear too much has slipped away
and in this days cold light, I am nothing to you and you are gone.